My AHA! moment came one day when “THEY” needed a ride to pick up their car which was parked at one of our rental houses. I had detached with love. And at the time, I was proud of them for taking a cab instead of driving home impaired the night before.
I took them to the rental house and on my way back, I was stopped for speeding. I knew the speed limit. But when I dropped them off, they made some off the cuff remark. My mind and my foot started moving in overdrive with frustration. I wasn't paying attention.
The policeman asked me what was going on, why I was speeding, and I was totally honest about the whole situation. I ranted and raved about “THEM” and my frustration.
He took my info and called it in. The car was registered to both of us. He found out the person I was telling him about had been picked up two days earlier for a DWI and I was probably telling the truth. He let me go with a warning. I have never had a ticket.
At that very instant, I BELIEVED my life was unmanageable. And I BELIEVED in a power greater than myself. Before I had said the words, but now I could FEEL the words.
At that very moment, I vowed to myself that I was no longer going to be a martyr and wearing it as a badge of honor. I was going to FIND me, for the first time in my life.
I took a hard look at my life "UP UNTIL THEN". I knew I was codependent, but I had never realized what it actually meant and how ingrained it was in my life and the lives of my children. So many things began to make sense.
I'm on a continual path to learn all I can about codependency. I became a Life Coach so I can help those suffering from this burden of codependency and help them detach from it with LOVE.
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