Before I began my path BEYOND codependency,
My life was in constant flux of empowerment, after going to weekly support meetings, and restraint when I got home to chaos. Then one day,
I realized my addiction to the addicted was above my support groups pay scale.
Only I could do my inner work, to get to the facts of my life all the way back to my childhood; to examine my subconscious beliefs of the facts; to feel how these beliefs impacted my life; to acknowledge my stories; and to see my behaviors that kept me in codependent relationships.
If you’re at a point in life where you’re ready to take a deep dive into your codependency, I invite you to watch or re-watch my training, BEYOND Codependency: 4 Keys To Living Life On YOUR Own Terms? You can Click HERE to register.
Essentially everyone can benefit from this training, not just codependents. Most of us have someone, a…
- Family member
- Extended family member
who is struggling with an addiction to drugs, alcohol, eating, purging, gaming, shopping, smoking, and the list goes on and on.
I designed this training after my own amazing life journey using the steps I took to go BEYOND codependency. I lay out, with actionable steps, an IDEA Path Framework for designing YOUR life. A life you LOVE living; a life where you get to BE, DO, GIVE and HAVE in ways you may have only dreamed about. A life BEYOND codependency.
The 4 Keys in the IDEA Path Framework are: Inventory, Discovery, Energy, and Aspiration.
Let’s look at the Inventory Key.
I’m guessing you’ve had your Inventory taken FOR you at some point in your life. It’s time to take it yourself.
This Key is based on honesty and has 5 Steps to it: 1 - Facts of Life, 2 - Beliefs Behind Facts, 3 - Feelings Behind Beliefs, 4 - Stories and 5 - Limiting Behaviors.
As an example, let’s look at my Facts of Life as a codependent. I…
- Saw my life with the addict as normal.
- Put on a disguise, so others wouldn’t see the pain I was in.
- Felt the burden of guilt when I didn’t measure up in my eyes.
- Couldn’t say “no” and sacrificed my needs for other people.
- Had blurry or weak boundaries. I felt responsible for other people’s problems and feelings.
- Believed others at the cost of my own sanity.
- Tried to control situations to feel safe and secure.
- Had no idea what I thought, felt or needed.
- Feared rejection, abandonment.
Now this isn’t a complete list of the facts of my codependent life. And I invite you to add your own facts to this list and share in the comments section below if you’d like.
When working this Inventory Step, you need to pose questions to your inner voice, your subconscious, and get very quiet to hear the answers.
Questions in 4 areas of your life:
- Health and wellness, both mental and physical - What memories come up, all the way back to your childhood? Did others, including your family, call you names or belittle you?
- Career - What did YOU want to be when you grew up? Have others always told you what to be or do?
- Relationships – As a child, what were the attributes of your perfect partner? Did you find him/her or did you settle?
- Financial Freedom – What messages about money did you pick up from your parents, your siblings or other people?
Once you pull back the curtain on your subconscious and begin this step, you’ll be surprised, as I was, at what comes to light. Things you have never been aware of will begin to emerge.
While doing your Inventory, don’t put blame on anything or anyone, because you can't change the past, nor would you want to. It's made you who you are today.
This exercise is the first step in figuring out who YOU are, because you can’t figure out where you want to go until you figure out where you've come from. As you move forward in the IDEA Path Framework you'll use your Inventory to catapult your life BEYOND codependency.
It’s important that you write these facts down in a journal or on a piece of paper. You see, we think in pictures. That's why your subconscious is such an important part of figuring out who you are and what you want. If you rely on someone else's account of your life, it wouldn't be YOUR truth.
“You’ll see it when you believe it.” ~Wayne Dyer
Next week we'll be looking at the Beliefs Behind Facts and the Feelings Behind Beliefs.
I encourage you to share this Blog Post with everyone you believe will benefit.
Since you're here, please be sure to check out my other resources.
Join me for a BEYOND Discovery Session